Grace is now three months old. And these days are very much like the first days of her life.
She’s a little taller, a little heavier, and she has started “talking,” but she’s the same Grace that I fell in love with when I first saw her. She’s still beautiful beyond compare. She still wants to be held. Her favorite person is still her mother. And her parents still love her to death.
I remember the second night of her life in the hospital. My wife and I couldn’t get her to go to sleep. We tried feeding her, rocking her, swaddling her. We followed the nurses’ instructions on putting our baby to sleep exactly. At 2 a.m., a nurse happened to pop in our room to check on my wife. She found my wife and I desperately trying to get our daughter to sleep. In a matter of minutes, the nurse eased our daughter to sleep and allowed us to get some rest.
That night feels eerily similar to tonight. My wife and I again are trying to get our daughter to go to sleep. I put Grace in her crib earlier, but she was up shortly after. Right now, Grace is resting on my wife’s chest, but she wakes up every once in a while to make sure my wife hasn’t gone anywhere. We aren’t going anywhere, Grace.
This journey people call parenthood still feels new to me. I’m only three small steps down what seems like it will be a long and winding path. I’m still making mistakes. I get confused sometimes. But I’m trying. And I’m learning. I’m starting to tell the difference in the way Grace cries. I am figuring out what Grace wants faster now. I can actually change a diaper, feed a baby, swaddle an infant, put together baby toys (even if it still takes me multiple tries), and most importantly, I know how to hold a baby. That’s a lot to have learned. At least in my mind.
And I have a long way to go. I have a lot more to learn, and hopefully many more years to figure it out.
But I doubt I’ll ever look at my daughter and see her as anything else but my baby girl. She’s my angel. Nothing will change that.
Every once in a while Grace goes retro, reverting to her old ways as she decides not to sleep at night. The last couple of nights Grace has taken us back in time.
She simply did not want to be in her crib and wasn’t shy about sharing her thoughts on the situation. She cried loudly. She whimpered softly. She cried in short bursts. She belted out long tirades. Her opinion was clearly communicated.
My wife and I held Grace. We rocked her. We talked to her. We explained the importance of sleep for growing babies to her. We pretended like we were sleeping.
Nothing worked. And, really, it doesn’t matter.
We were tired when we woke up this morning. We didn’t want to get out of bed. We didn’t want to do much of anything outside of sleeping.
Then Grace woke up and flashed that smile of hers. There’s nothing cuter on the planet. It’s sitting next to a warm fire with the one you love kind of wonderful. It’s new car smell great. Her smile makes everything better. We sat up and started playing with her. A smile came across both our faces.
So I’m making the announcement today. Grace, you can do whatever you want. Just give us that smile after you do it. Heaven knows, I can’t stand up to its supernatural power.
The other day my wife and I were eating a Subway sandwich. Meatball on white bread with American cheese to be exact. It was wonderful.
As I enjoyed the sandwich, I realized my wife hadn’t said much for a little bit. In fact, the room was pretty much silent. Then my wife decided to let me in on the secret.
Grace was watching me eat. Actually, she was watching everything I was doing. I watched her eyes follow me everywhere I went. When I looked at her, she looked at me. When I took a bite of the sandwich, she watched me do it. I moved a bag, she inspected how I did it.
It dawned on me how much she will learn by watching me and my wife. She’ll learn how to talk from us. She’ll learn how to act from us. What she sees me do will have a direct impact on the expectations she has for the future men in her life, though I won’t let them come around until she’s at least 35. How my wife and I interact with each other will provide her with her most influential model of a marriage. She most likely will carry that model into her future relationships.
That’s a lot of pressure. I hope people keep praying for my wife, Grace and I. We’ll need it.
The short experience reminded me that other people are watching how I act. They’re seeing what I do. They’re hearing what I say. They’re noticing how I react to situations. Whether I want to admit it or not, what I do impacts other people. What I do impacts what other people think of me, and more importantly what they think of other Christians.
On a song from their latest album, Delirious refers to Christians as a show on God’s T.V. that a non-believing world watches. It reacts to what its sees. Sometimes people are drawn to it. Sometimes people are pushed away.
Today I pray people see Christ in me and are drawn to Him. I pray this is especially true for Grace.
Merry Christmas everyone. Here’s a song from the Muppets Christmas Carol to celebrate the night before Christmas.
There’s magic in the air this evening
Magic in the air
The world is at her best, you know
When people love and care
The promise of excitement is one the night will keep
After all, there’s only one more sleep til Christmas
The world has got a smile today
The world has got a glow
There’s no such thing as strangers when
A stranger says hello
And everyone is family, we’re having so much fun
After all, there’s only one more sleep til Christmas
Tis the season to be jolly and joyous
With a burst of pleasure, we feel it all right
It’s the season when the saints can employ us
To spread the news about peace and to keep love alive
There’s something in the wind today
That’s good for everyone
Yes, faith is in our hearts today
We’re shining like the sun
And everyone can feel it, the feeling’s running deep
After all, there’s only one more sleep til Christmas
After all, there’s only one more sleep til Christmas day
